


Just Like Mommy Used To

by Mistressaq



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Teachers, Edgeplay, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotionally Repressed, F/F, Feelings, Hurt/Comfort, Lesbian Sex, Massage, Masturbation, Mommykink, Orgasm Delay/Denial, PWP, Porn with Feelings, Shame, Teasing, Vaginal Fingering, Workplace Relationship, mommy/baby, post shalaska breakup
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-23
Updated: 2018-04-23
Packaged: 2019-04-26 14:48:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14404368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mistressaq/pseuds/Mistressaq
Summary: Always the dominant, in every aspect of life, Sharon just got out of a long relationship and moved across the country. Now working as a math teacher for junior high kids, she hates her life more than ever. The only good thing in her existence is Miss Monsoon, the music teacher. She’s warm and generous, patient beyond comprehension. The woman has so much maternal energy she draws Sharon in, and the math teacher soon falls into a role she’d previously thought impossible.





	Just Like Mommy Used To

**Author's Note:**

> Someone happened to slide into my DMs and ask for this. This thing has been in the works for literal months. Warning, this is mommy kink (or as much mommy kink as i can stand to write). To the person who asked if I’d write more kink after the Viadore I did a few months ago: your wish has been granted. Prepare for teasing and edging.

Wesley was asleep again, head on his desk, brown curls falling over the side of his arm. Sharon did not have it in her to deal with this today. She continued her geometry lecture while picking up stray textbooks from the shelf under the whiteboard. Once she had three collected in her arms, she walked her way down a row of individual desks, all the way to the back row, next to the wall.

“And that,” said Sharon, before she dropped all three 600 page textbooks on Wesley’s desk. A sonorous _smack!_ echoed off the white plaster walls.

Wesley snapped upright, a long red mark across his cheek where the cuff of his shirt bit into his face. Sharon placed a hand on her hip and popped her tongue, pausing briefly for the assorted gasps, giggles, and disjointed applause that followed.

She set her gaze forward and squeezed her thumb and forefinger together, her classroom sign to button lips shut. The noise choked and silence once again installed itself in the classroom of Miss Needles. 

By the time Sharon had reached her desktop to close up her powerpoint, there was the sound of the classroom door closing. Her head jerked up; she hadn’t given anyone permission to leave. Her eyes flicked to Wesley’s desk. Empty. Of course. 

“M-miss Nee--” squeaked a rule-abiding student. Probably Jaycee, fucking authority whore. 

“I saw, mister Caraval,” she replied condescendingly. Sharon smacked the X button on her screenshare and grabbed the remote for the overhead projector. She clicked the power button on the remote and heard the mechanical box wind down almost thankfully. 

“Start looking through the examples in 5.4.” Sharon swept the heavy door wide open and started into the hallway, her heels clacking attractively on the linoleum. She knew exactly where the boy was headed; Sharon made a beeline for Miss Monsoon’s Music Room.

Sure enough, when the math teacher rounded a corner, there was the brown-haired sleeper, bag slung over his shoulder, standing in the open doorway. Miss Monsoon held the door open, light streaming from inside. Her red hair was unwashed and dry, her makeup too heavy-handed, and her clothes ballooned around her body in a deeply unflattering way. 

She looked gorgeous. 

And her face as she spoke to Wesley, so kind and open. Sharon knew firsthand that when you had the undivided attention of Miss Monsoon, you gave her your trust and all your secrets. The woman oozed safety. 

Miss Monsoon ushered Wesley inside her classroom and cast a glance up at Sharon. Miss Needles at once felt ashamed, not really sure of what. Maybe it was all still left over from--

“Can I talk to you?”

Sharon’s padded shoulders slumped. Immediately she felt her hardened exterior cracking apart, from Miss Monsoon’s gaze alone. She plodded forward. Briefly, she wondered what might be going on in her unattended classroom. Best case scenario, Jaycee took over the lesson for her; worst case, the kids all went _Lord of the Flies_ and started eating each other. She’d never read the book, but she assumed that’s what happened.

“Sharon,” said Miss Monsoon.

Sharon cleared her throat and tried to shake off the itch to submit. Now was not the time or place. And it would _not_ happen again, anyway. “We’re supposed to get into the practice of referring to each other with teacher names, remember?”

Miss Monsoon rolled her eyes and it was mesmerizing. “ _Miss Needles_ ,” she said mockingly. “Do you mind if I take your student for a bit?”

Sharon scoffed. “Don’t really have a choice, since he came running to you.” She looked away. “Like all the kids do. Away from me.” 

Her eyes widened as soon as it was out of her mouth. Miss Monsoon’s face softened immediately and Sharon could not let herself keep looking at that face, or it would all fall apart and Sharon would massively embarrass herself, again. “Ihavetogetbacktomyclass,” she blurted, spinning a 180 on the spot.

“Sharon!” called Miss Monsoon. 

Sharon felt the clutch in her gut and she couldn’t refuse. She turned around. 

“Miss Needles,” the music teacher corrected. “I’ll remind you I keep a well stocked booze cabinet, if you ever need to talk.”

“I will keep that in mind.” Sharon clenched her jaw and turned away. “Jinkx.”

There was a telltale chuckle before the sound of the classroom door closing. 

Sharon couldn’t help but smile.  
_____  
When she returned to her class, she found Jaquelynn crying because Ahmed impaled her with a pen. Jaycee had seen the injury and passed out cold. 

Sharon sighed and wrote up a nurse’s pass. 

“I love my job,” she deadpanned, and handed the pass off to a kid in the front row.  
_____

The rest of the day passed sluggishly. Sharon wasn’t on top of her game, and the students could tell. There was more chatter among the junior high kids, and they seemed to leave the classroom without really having grasped much of the lesson at all. She knew that catchup time would reflect badly on the ever-increasing classroom standards, and a few of her classes were already behind schedule as it was. The kids didn’t seem to grasp concepts as quickly as the state school board wanted them to, and whose fault was that? Sharon’s.

Sharon found herself thinking of joining Jinkx at lunch, longing for the woman’s calming presence. Maybe laying her head in Jinkx’ lap--

She shook herself out of it. Springing from her chair, Sharon decided to trace a lap of the room, checking on student’s progress. Unsurprisingly, less than half seemed to get the concept, around a third were either doodling or on their phones, a few were obviously frustrated and a couple had taken after Wesley, and simply put their heads down on their desks. 

Needing the distraction anyway, Sharon started assisting those who were actually trying to work and struggling. This poor boy Matthias was the most obviously troubled, digging his fingers into the sides of his head, a thin vein poking out of his forehead. Sharon released the tension in her shoulders and eased her voice into her higher, friendlier, register. “What’cha working on there, Matthias?” 

The kid let out a hard sigh. “Okay, I’m trying, and I think I got the first part but then--” 

Sharon heard the tension in his voice spike. She nodded solemnly. A girl a row over piped up, frustration evident in her voice also. “Yeah, I’m stuck on that part too.”

“Same here,” said an athletic boy in the front. 

Sharon stood up straight and scanned around the room. “Is anybody else struggling with the second part of today’s assignment?” 

At least six voices hummed in response. Sharon nodded. The rest of in-class time she spent going over the lesson, and catching up on what students still hadn’t grasped three lessons ago. She hated going over the same information, but if it was what the kids needed…

Sharon pushed back the quiz she’d assigned for tomorrow -- it wasn’t worth forcing the students to take a quiz 70% of them weren’t ready for. She just needed time. But the standards, the standards, the well-meaning good-for-nothing government standards said push on, you have to cover A-Z all this year and if you have a class that needs extra time so what? They should just go to tutoring because it’s the student’s job to work themselves into the dirt and the teachers job to stand by and watch it all happen. 

Class had let out. Sharon hadn’t noticed; she sat hunched at her desk, tension growing in her shoulders and jaw. Why couldn’t she do it? She was Sharon motherfucking Needles after all -- she’d climbed a barbed wire fence just to show off and batted a bee out of midair because her girlfriend at the time had been allergic and scared. Girlfriend. 

The thoughts came back. Sharon reached with shaking hands for her bottom desk drawer. It would be warm and stale but she needed it; and she was about to eat lunch so it wouldn’t be as bad. She could keep it together. She just needed…

“You know it’s not a good idea to be drinking on the job,” a familiar and comforting voice sang into the empty classroom. 

Sharon startled, immediately hiding her secret flask. After a second to figure out who had spoken, she relaxed, and stowed the booze with a sigh. “Come on in, Jinxie.”

The music teacher closed the door softly behind her. Her loose-fitting top and skirt flowed around her form like a feminine bubble, tugged in to give her a waist. Even the way she moved was languid; she seemed to float across the vacant classroom to perch on top of a student desk facing Sharon. “Well,” said Jinkx, her voice crackling. “I was gonna ask you if I could talk to you over lunch, but maybe we should switch to drinks.”

Sharon scoffed. “In the middle of the day? Didn’t peg you for the rule-breaking type.”

Jinkx laughed musically. “I was thinking tonight.”

Sharon let out a beleaguered sigh and reached for her bottom drawer again. “I need a drink now.”

Jinkx rose from her seat on top of the wooden student desk to further approach Sharon’s teacher’s desk. She rested her soft palms in front of the math teacher. “How about,” began Jinkx. “We do drinks _tonight_ , and right now I treat us both to my secret fudge stash?”

Sharon closed her bottom drawer again. Her eyebrow raised, interest piqued. “You have a secret fudge stash?”

Jinkx nodded slowly. “The Mormon lady who’s my partner on Bridge Night makes great fudge -- from scratch.”

Sharon’s mouth watered. She sprung up from her seat, immediately regretting her decision as black spots slapped across her vision; all the blood went to her feet and her head hurt. “Woah.” She grabbed at her desk for support and found Jinkx’ hand. Warm and soft, just like she remembered.

Another hand came to rest between her shoulders, and a soft voice hushed Sharon, reminding her to breathe. She followed the order without question, and only came to her senses when Jinkx brushed hair out of Sharon’s face. Weakly, Sharon grabbed Jinkx’ wrist and pulled it away from her face. 

“No,” said Sharon, eyes on her desk. 

Slowly, Jinkx pulled her hands away from Sharon, now steady after her headrush. “Fudge, then?” Her own voice lacked some of its usual pep. 

The math teacher nodded, still unable to look her colleague in the eye. “Fudge,” she confirmed.  
_____

Sharon grabbed onto the side of the piano and moaned loudly. 

Jinkx chuckled. “I’m glad you’re enjoying it.” She stuck a fudge square between her teeth and chomped down. She closed her brown eyes and tried very hard not to make the same noise as Sharon. 

Sharon stuffed the rest of her square in her mouth. It was perfectly prepared, the texture sticky and melty and it held its shape but was supple when she bit into it. She watched Jinkx take her first bite and laughed with the back of her throat; the sound that came out of her was evil. 

Jinkx’ eyes widened at Sharon’s vindictive laugh and immediately her bell-like giggling broke the silence. That was all it took to bring down the rest of Sharon’s walls. She eased into Jinkx’ presence like submerging in warm water. 

After another fudge square each, Jinkx slapped the tupperware container containing the remainder of the magic sweets shut and pulled it away from Sharon. She whined like a child and reached out her hand. “More,” she pouted with a mouthful of fudge. 

Jinkx chuckled and kept the tupperware away from the math teacher’s grasp. “In a while, baby,” she cooed in her sweetest voice. “Don’t wanna ruin your appetite.”

Sharon felt the submission -- she’d already gone into Little Mode and Jinkx knew. And she hadn't stopped herself. What was wrong with her? And why wasn’t she shaking herself out of it now? _Because_ , she thought, _I don’t want to_.

She rested her weight on her elbows as she leaned on Jinkx’ class piano. It was acoustic and wooden, very old. In addition to the piano the class had both a whiteboard and an old school blackboard -- Sharon knew the music teacher preferred to use the blackboard. Facing the piano and boards were around 30 collapsable chairs, sat on tiered floors so whoever sat in the back could still see the teacher at the front. 

It was all more communal than the math classrooms, Sharon thought. Maybe that’s why so many people preferred music to more STEM areas. STEM is solitary; art is enriched by every new experience. Climbing a mountain will not help you solve a quadratic equation, but it might inspire a song. 

Jinkx clapped her hands, signifying that she was rejoining Sharon in the main classroom after storing the fudge somewhere unseen. “Now.” She took Sharon by the elbow and smiled at her. “Let’s go get some actual nutrition, shall we?”

Sharon pushed her bottom lip out. “Do we have to?”

Jinkx patted Sharon’s arm. “Nutrition, baby, or no more dessert. I’m already being a bad mommy by letting you have dessert first.”

Sharon’s heart skipped. Jinkx had just referred to herself as mommy at work. She had felt like she wanted to call Jinkx mommy, but she couldn’t because she hadn’t given all the way in. Sharon knew better, she had a job to help prepare young people for high school and she couldn’t do that if she was still in the headspace of a Little herself. But Jinkx had the luxury of slipping into Mommy at work. Mommy and Jinkx weren’t all that different. For a minute, Sharon resented Jinkx for having this, the ability to become Mommy and leave her feeling unsatisfied and teased. Mommy would need to make up for this tonight.

_Tonight_? She felt some piece of her say. _I thought you were never going to do that again_.

Sharon bit her lip. She didn’t know what to think. It was humiliating and shameful, what she became. But at the same time it felt like she needed this -- this release, this relief from the neverending loneliness she’d been feeling even before she broke up with her girlfriend. This part of her that really wanted the feeling of someone around her, holding her, caring for her, instead of the other way around. She had to be self sufficient, there wasn’t another option. She’d been fending for herself since she was a teenager and left a home where she was unwanted. Then she fended for herself and her girlfriend, when it was just them against the world. Now she was alone again, and she had to put up this facade of being a hardass when that’s all just for protection. And Jinkx knew that.

Jinkx clicked her tongue and tapped Sharon on the chin. “Quit chewing on yourself, see, you’re bleeding, baby.”

She felt Jinkx’ thumb swiping away blood from her lip and she closed her eyes in hopes of keeping the emotions inside.

She failed, and a single tear sneaked between her lashes, plopping right down on Jinkx’ hand. 

“Ohh, _baby_ ,” whispered Jinkx. 

That voice was enough to shatter what was left of her mask. Sharon choked out a sob. She grabbed Jinkx around the waist, crushed their bodies together and hid her face in the ginger’s neck. Jinkx rested her hand on the back of Sharon’s head and hushed her, whispering words of comfort and love. _It’s okay. You’re so strong. It’s okay. Shhh_.

Sharon didn’t feel okay at all. She felt like a child. She felt ashamed and stressed and, most of all, she felt completely alone.  
_____

When Jinkx led her back to the music room, Sharon followed. She secretly loved how she didn’t have to pay attention to where she was going, because Jinkx had her by the hand and would not lead her astray. 

No, Sharon still wouldn’t let herself go to calling Jinkx ‘mommy’. That was the last bit of restraint. 

Jinkx sat Sharon down in a leather desk chair and told her to relax. She gave Sharon makeup wipes and a hand mirror and left her to get food while Sharon cleaned the stray marks from her face. Once she’d started, Sharon realized it all had to come off. Her students were going to think she was deathly ill. Maybe Jinkx would too-- no, Jinkx had seen her with a 2 am face before.

Sharon felt herself closing off -- not necessarily putting her walls back up more like… leaving her mind emotionally. She emptied herself, hiding away the part that could hurt and leaving behind a shell. When Jinkx returned, Sharon looked up, blinked and nodded a silent thanks. 

Jinkx tried talking, but Sharon wasn’t home. She speared lettuce and tomato on a plastic fork and kept slowly stabbing the side of the plastic container well after she’d gotten enough for a bite. After five stabs Sharon robotically raised her fork to her mouth. She bit down and chewed like an animatronic. All the while her blue eyes were completely glazed over, and her bare face was completely flat. 

Jinkx couldn’t help but notice how different Sharon looked without her regular face on. The foundation that washed out all her color, the dark red -- almost brown -- overdrawn lipstick, the pointed eyebrows, all of it added to Sharon’s harsh exterior. But now as she stared down at the table, Jinkx was reminded of the woman beneath the mask. 

She’d seen it before, weeks ago, in the wee hours of the morning after a night where neither person was as drunk as they’d claim later. Jinkx remembered Sharon’s lashes resting closed, beads of sweat clinging to them like morning dew on a leaf. She remembered gazing down past Sharon’s dry blonde hair and counting the visible blue veins in her eyelids. Her still-pale skin stretched over pronounced cheekbones, which she would dramatize during the day, and those cheeks, free of concealer, held a pinkness that positively glowed in the dim golden light. Looking at Sharon’s lethargic expression, Jinkx recalled seeing her smile, revealing dimpled cheeks that even further endeared her to the music teacher.

Jinkx knew Sharon felt ashamed of her submissive nature -- it was why she’d left before dawn last time. For the same reason, Sharon had either ignored or outright run from Jinkx as much as was possible, until today.

Sharon brought another bite to her mouth after stabbing her fork against the side of the container another five times. After chewing ten times, Sharon swallowed, and restarted the process. A rehearsal. A passive activity done by someone on autopilot. 

Jinkx pressed her lips together. How was Sharon going to make it through the last two classes of the day? Could she pull out of it? Sharon was the most professional person Jinkx knew, but… she really wasn’t present in her body right now.

Jinkx bit her lip. _What would Mommy do_? She looked at the clock hanging above the classroom door. They had about ten minutes… maybe she had an idea.

The music teacher made her way around to Sharon’s back. Her shoulders were padded, usually adding to her regular menace. Now they just made her seem even more hollow. Gently, Jinkx started unbuttoning Sharon’s jacket, giving herself access to the striped silk button-down beneath. Sharon made no move to shrug Jinkx off, nor did she bristle at Jinkx’ touch. So the music teacher started up a gentle shoulder massage.

She started by tenderly rolling her thumbs down Sharon’s spine, seeking tension with her fingers and exercising it away. Jinkx felt Sharon ease a little, her reactions still slim, but there was more ease to her breathing than there had been when she began. 

“You’re gonna go back into your class, okay?” cooed Jinkx. “You’re gonna watch that clock, but you. Will. Make it these last few hours, Sharon.”

“How?” The math teacher’s voice was robotic. She shook her head and seemed to fall back inside of herself.

Jinkx lowered her face so her breath tickled the baby hairs on Sharon’s earlobe. “You’re gonna be on your best behavior for Mommy.”

A shudder rippled from Sharon’s shoulders down to her calves. She squeezed her knees together. “ _Mommy_ …” she breathed through her teeth. 

Jinkx pressed the palms of her hands flat against Sharon’s shoulders. She started trailing up and down Sharon’s arms, almost as if trying to warm up a child after a bath, swaddled in a towel and cold from the rush of air against wet skin. “Yes,” she whispered. “That’s a good girl, that’s my baby girl, Sharon.”

Another shudder ran down the math teacher and she leaned her head back against her Mommy. Jinkx caught a glance of a sinful smile on her baby’s bare lips. She leaned down further so she could fasten her arms around Sharon’s middle like a seatbelt. “You’ll be a good girl for mommy, won’t you?” 

Sharon hummed and nodded. She rested her hand on top of Jinkx’ and started tracing her mommy’s fingers. 

“So, what does Mommy want you to do?” Jinkx rested her face in Sharon’s shoulder. 

Sharon hummed and played with her mommy’s jewelry. She had pretty beads and crystals around her wrists and fingers. She remembered that the crystals meant something but she didn’t remember what. “I think… Mommy would want me to… have more fudge.” Sharon grinned mischievously at Jinkx.

Jinkx chuckled. “You know, baby, maybe another day.” 

Sharon pouted. 

Jinkx removed her hands from the woman’s middle so she could kneel in front of her. “No, Sharon I want you to go back to your class, just for another hour or so, and as soon as the day is out you don’t have to pack up any grading or any lesson plans. I will come and get you. And the two of us will have some much needed Mommy-baby bonding time.” She looked deeply into Sharon’s crystal blue eyes. “Can you do that for Mommy?”

Sharon kicked her feet at the floor. “It’ll be hard, but I can do it for you, Mommy.”

“It makes me happy to hear that, Baby.”

“I love you, Mommy.”

The bell rang, signaling the end of lunch hour. Without another word, Sharon was up and prancing out of the door and back to her classroom like a good little girl.  
_____

Sharon was obviously not herself after lunch hour. The kids noticed, and at first couldn’t tell what was off-putting about Miss Needles, other than the fact that she had completely changed personalities. Someone had abducted Miss Needles and put this impostor in her place. Her smoky eyes, contoured cheekbones and overdrawn lips were gone, and they were left with a pink-faced, dewy, somewhat freckly woman instead. She was smiling, too -- and seemed chipper, _happy_.

A brown-skinned girl with glasses raised her hand. “Um, Miss Needles, are you okay?”

Sharon laughed, and not the vindictive chuckle of judgement they were used to from her -- it was a genuine peal of laughter. 

Another hand went up. “What happened to your makeup?”

Sharon smiled genially. “I’m not wearing any, hon.”

The next student didn’t even bother raising his hand. “Miss Needles, are you being bluemailed?”

“It’s blackmailed, Andy,” said another. 

“Are you safe?” asked someone else.

“Are you high?” questioned a kid in the back.

Sharon smiled and raised her hands, signaling the roar to die down. “I’m honored to have such a caring class as you all. It’s really very sweet. But the truth of the matter is that I’m not high or in any kind of trouble. I’m just happy, in general. I’m also happy, specifically, to fire up this lesson on congruent angles, let’s get moving!”

The class went about in an off put silence. Occasionally there were whispers questioning about the sudden mood shift of their teacher, but these were only met with shrugs, all parties’ attention recirculating to the lesson.

Students left Miss Needles’ classroom at a loss for what to say, only offering the next class taps on the shoulder and wide-eyed head shakes. One girl whispered to her friend “She’s gone insane” before skipping off.

In her last class of the day, Miss Needles started her lecture with a PSA: “I am feeling different today. You’ll notice I’m not wearing any makeup, and I hope you don’t let these changes distract you from today’s lesson, which is…”

Besides a student getting up during individual work time to walk over to Sharon at her desk to ask in a hushed tone, “Okay, but _really_ are you okay?” the period went smoothly. 

Sharon was bouncing in her seat during the last ten minutes. It was against school policy to let the kids line up at the door before class let out and Sharon usually loved policing this rule, but oh boy, did she want to be with them today, on their phones, listening to music and just counting down the minutes to freedom. 

But Mommy said to stay put, so in her seat Sharon stayed. 

When the swarm of students finally died down and Jinkx was still nowhere to be seen, Sharon started jiggling her leg anxiously. I>Where is Mommy? Did she forget about me? Was I bad and now she’s not coming at all? Am I gonna be stuck in this room until tomorrow morning??

Before Sharon could worry herself into a full-on panic, Jinkx sauntered into her doorway, car keys in one hand and a macrame cross-body bag slung over her shoulder. Making eye contact with Sharon, she pushed a pair of sunglasses from her head down over her eyes. The action set Sharon abuzz.

She beat her pointy shoes against the abused carpet and bit her lip in anticipation. Mommy hadn’t told her she was allowed to get up yet. 

Jinkx spread her arms wide and leaned against the metal doorframe. “What you still sittin’ around for, kitten?” She looked at Sharon over the brims of her sunglasses. “You coming or what?”

Sharon sprung to her achy feet and yanked her black leather purse onto her shoulder, joining her Mommy at the door and grabbing her hand. 

_____

Nerves threatened to pull Sharon apart at the seams. There was this feeling — like a Jenga tower one nudge away from disaster. This was the feeling that kept her locked in her classroom, away from bars, out of clubs. The notion that everything _would_ go wrong. 

But Jinkx smirked at her in the corner of a twinkling eye, and Sharon knew it was going to be alright. She was safe.

Instinctively, Sharon went to the right side passenger seat of Jinkx’ Kia. She was interrupted after tugging on the door handle. Jinkx held up her pointer finger and clucked. “No, you’re not ready for the front seat, Baby.”

Sharon felt her nerves blotted out by submission. “Of course.” She switched to the back seat.

Mommy was prone to being messy sometimes and not cleaning out her back seat. There were discarded Subway wax wrappers and Sears catalogs to be pushed to the side so Sharon could make space for herself. 

Jinkx turned her key in the ignition and the car croaked to life with some effort. Sharon felt the hum of the engine between her legs and fidgeted. “How much farther?” asked Sharon in a small voice.

Jinkx chuckled. “You’ve been before, remember, kitten?”

Sharon looked out the window and watched the school shrink away. 

“Ah, right,” hummed Jinkx. “You’d been a messy girl last time you came over. That’s why you don't remember.”

Sharon felt red rise to her face. She wished Mommy hadn’t seen her like that. But examining her face in the rear-view mirror, she didn’t seem disappointed at all. She looked… charmed, like when Sharon mispronounced ‘treble clef’ as ‘treble cliff’. Knowing Mommy wasn’t upset put Sharon at ease. She let her gaze drift off through the window and rested her forehead against the cool glass.

“Sharon?” 

Somewhere Jinkx chuckled.

“Baby, we’re here.”

Sharon snapped awake, confused a little as to when she’d fallen asleep. She looked up at Jinkx, who had already undone Sharon’s seatbelt. Mommy had a hand on Sharon’s shoulder and had been gently shaking her awake.

Sharon maneuvered her feet out onto Jinkx’ driveway.

“Did you have a good nap—oh!”

Sharon tried to put weight on her feet and promptly tumbled into Jinkx. Her toes had been crushed in heels; on a normal day she would have remembered to switch into flats as soon as work was done, and she sorely wished she had done today. 

“Sorry,” she breathed, letting up on her death grip of Jinkx’ hand and waist.

Looking down, Mommy immediately identified the issue. “Oh, your poor feet, Baby. Here, hold on to my shoulder.” 

Sharon did as she was told, immediately finding herself swept off her feet, being held by her Mommy under her knees and halfway down her back. “You’re strong,” said Sharon in amazement.

Jinkx closed the door with her wide hip. “Sure am,” she said. “How else am I to handle having the whole district’s music program on my shoulders?”

Sharon smiled and resituated her hand on Mommy’s lower back. As Jinkx walked them both in, she said “Okay, now that’s officially the last reference to work either of us is gonna make.”

Sharon nodded. 

Jinkx had to put Sharon down in order to let them both in to her house. To avoid further damage, Sharon slid her heels right off her feet and stood on the warm concrete barefoot and lightly bleeding. Holding her shoes, she waited for Jinkx to let them in.

Sharon recognized the inside immediately: the eclectic tastes, aesthetics a mix of glamor and cheesy decor. The floor was mostly off-white textured tile, the living area covered with a brown faux-fur rug, on top of which sat the grey suede couch she recognized distinctly. She remembered marvelling at the textures of the rug and wanting to lick the couch. She also remembered other things happening on that couch, but before she was completely consumed with memories of months ago, Jinkx pulled her back to the present. 

“I’m always starving when I come home — are you hungry, Baby?”

“Um.” Sharon took a few seconds to check — did her stomach feel empty? Come to think of it… “I could eat.”

Jinkx fired up her oven for stir fry, giving Sharon celery and a peanut butter cup to tide her over. 

“Wanna tell me how your day was, sweetie?” asked Jinkx while dicing onions.

“Not really.” Sharon twisted on her barstool. “When’s dinner gonna be ready?”

Jinkx sighed and shoved all the diced vegetables to one side of her cutting board. Turning on her heel, she walked over to Sharon and picked up one of her celery sticks. “Mommy tax,” she said, dipping into the peanut butter cup. 

Sharon giggled.

“Half hour,” said Jinkx in answer to Sharon’s first question. She grabbed the girl by her cheek and kissed the crown of her head. “Why don’t you watch some TV while I get dinner ready? I think Cartoon Network is in the 1070’s.”

While pretending to watch Amazing World of Gumball reruns, Sharon kept her eyes on Jinkx in the kitchen. She danced around, flitting to and fro, leaving cupboards open only to close them on her next fly-by. It was hypnotizing to watch.

When Sharon took her first bite of Jinkx’ stir-fry, she knew she was in trouble. Jinkx was gorgeous and caring and an amazing cook. Sharon couldn't lie to herself anymore. _Fuck_ , she thought. _I love you_.

Though Sharon offered, Jinkx refused to let her help clean dishes. “You let me do this, Baby. Then we can do whatever you want.”

Sharon positioned herself behind Jinkx, her chest to Mommy’s back and her arms wrapped around Mommy’s middle. Her full tummy pulled her eyes closed. Sharon pressed her nose against the nape of Jinkx’ neck, breathing in Mommy’s sweet scent. She thought about saying it right then, just telling Jinkx, but she was too afraid of making her uncomfortable. 

Jinkx toweled off her hands, then grabbed Sharon by her wrists. Holding her still, Jinkx turned to face her. Swiping hair behind Sharon’s ear, Jinkx held her baby by the cheek. She caressed Sharon’s cheekbone with her thumb, and Sharon leaned into the gentle touch. 

“Did you enjoy dinner, Baby?” Cooed Jinkx.

Sharon smiled and let her eyes flutter closed. “Hmm-hmm.”

With her other hand, Jinkx traced a line from her baby’s temple down to the corner of her mouth. Sharon’s lips parted reflexively. Her throat was tight, her pulse picking up more speed by the second. 

“Baby, look at me,” Jinkx whispered. 

Sharon forced her lids open. Jinkx’ deep brown eyes reflected the light in the kitchen, making them look honey-colored. All she wanted was to have Jinkx hold her and kiss her and maybe let her go down.

“We don’t have to do anything tonight,” said Jinkx. “I need you to know I’m not forcing—“

Sharon grabbed Jinkx by the waist and pulled the ginger so close they were pressed together. Jinkx caught herself against Sharon. The math teacher could feel the others racing pulse through their clothes, the swift rise and fall of her chest pressed against Sharon’s. The two stared deeply into each other's eyes for what felt like hours. Had Sharon not folded into her Baby mindframe, she would have simply taken what she wanted. But here, now, Jinkx was Mommy. And Mommy called the shots.

“What do you want, Baby?” asked Mommy, her voice barely a whisper.

Sharon leaned in barely a centimeter. The tip of her nose brushed against Jinkx’. She smiled. Jinkx wasn’t wearing a bra, and she was obviously enjoying this touch as much as Sharon. 

“I want,” She rasped. 

Jinkx bit her lip and leaned her head back, exposing her neck to Sharon. 

Sharon breathed down Jinkx’ throat and watched goosebumps rise. “To show you…” She grabbed Jinkx’ chin and pulled her face down to meet her eyes once again. “How much I appreciate you.” 

The ginger’s eyes were mostly black, showing exactly how Sharon’s teasing had affected her. 

“Mommy,” Sharon whimpered. She wound her hands around Jinkx’ hip bones, playing at the waistband of Jinkx’ long skirt. “Can I please…?”

Jinkx connected their lips. Sharon felt like her legs were going to melt. Keeping her right hand to the side of Jinkx’ naval, tracing circles into Jinkx’ soft belly, she was struck with a memory: Jinkx pulling her away from this place. _Shhh, baby, you don’t need to do that_.

_But I want to. So soft. I want to kiss you everywhere your body is so kissable_!

_Hands separated Sharon from Mommy’s sweet body. I can’t let you do this, Baby. Mommy won’t take advantage of you… A sigh. No matter how much she wants to_.

She remembered open mouthed kissing and licking down here. Everything was fuzzy. She’d been drunk, but not drunk enough to forget. Not drunk enough to excuse how she acted, but drunk enough for Jinkx to stop her.

This evening, on a school night, when Sharon was stone cold sober, Jinkx wasn’t obligated to refuse. Sharon nuzzled below Jinkx’ left ear. “Mommy,” she breathed, not at all surprised by the whine that made its way into her voice. “Please.”

Jinkx let out a breath and swallowed. Sharon smiled, weaving her fingers between Mommy’s. 

Mommy squeezed. “Just,” she said sharply. Sharon felt her chest constrain. Brown eyes met blue needy ones. 

Jinkx pulled Sharon’s hand to her lips. She kept her baby’s hand in front of her face for a few seconds. Sharon could feel Mommy’s breath across the back of her hand. “Not here.”

Jinkx led Sharon back through the living area down a short hallway. Sharon’s stomach twisted when she set her bare feet on the shag carpet of Mommy’s bedroom. 

It was medium sized, the queen bed taking up by far the most space right in the middle, square oak headboard flush with the grey painted drywall. Her duvet was patchwork of grey, lavender and mint pattern. Sharon's mind wandered as she approached the bed, her fingers starting to trace the lacey decor on one of the many patches.

“Sharon?” Jinkx prompted.

She whirled around to see Mommy looking at her expectantly. She’d missed something. Sharon chewed the inside of her cheek.

“I said, ‘I’m gonna go freshen up’.” Jinkx smiled at Sharon’s clueless and frightened expression. “That okay?”

“Oh,” Sharon breathed. “Of course.” 

“Okay, feel free to get comfortable, Baby.” Jinkx said before she disappeared into the adjoining bathroom.

Sharon hoisted herself onto the mattress, bouncing a little to check the springiness of Jinkx’ bed. It didn’t squeak at first, but Sharon figured she ought to check the whole bed. Crouching on all fours, Sharon crawled to and fro on top of the duvet, thrusting up and down to check for squeaks, and also to keep herself busy. 

Sharon wasn’t usually one to admit it, but she was nervous. Jinkx was such a good person, and Sharon couldn’t stop thinking what would happen if she didn’t deliver, or fucked up something with her like she did with—

She shook her head and decided to rifle through Jinkx’ drawers.

In the bathroom, Jinkx shrugged her favorite silk robe over her bare body. She bit her nail. Did Sharon like somewhat natural or… it didn’t matter. She wasn’t here to change her own grooming habits for a one night stand— that was ridiculous.

Jinkx sighed at the mirror and pulled her hair down. Was her hair greasy? Would Sharon think it was gross? _Fuck, why am I doing this? Just swipe a freshening cloth downstairs, brush your teeth and pat some of that fragrance on your neck. Then get out there and forget everything_. 

She turned from the mirror, propped her hand on her hip and looked over her shoulder at her reflection. This is as good as I’m going to look. _Poor Baby has been in there fifteen minutes_. 

“Okay!” she called. “I’m ready!”

Gingerly opening the bathroom door, Jinkx tried to give Sharon as much time as possible. To prepare, to think, to back out. After being ignored by Sharon for weeks after last time, Jinkx had to prepare herself emotionally for her date bailing last minute.

But she didn’t.

Sharon stood in front of the full-length mirror in the corner if Jinkx’ bedroom. Her work clothes had been loosed, buttons undone and zippers pulled down. Her suit jacket draped over the cushion of Jinkx’ reading nook. Sharon had taken off her pantyhose, revealing milky white blue-veined skin. There was a black bra in Jinkx’ hamper that was about three cup sizes too small for her. 

Her blue eyes greeted Jinkx’ reflection. There was something frightening about that look — it was too intimate, too trusting, too…

Jinkx breathed in sharply. Sharon turned to face her. “So…” Jinkx started awkwardly. “I see you’ve made yourself comfortable.”

If Sharon felt the awkwardness, she didn't let on. She rested her hands on her hips and shrugged. “You told me to, Mommy.”

Jinkx swallowed. Behind Sharon was a western-facing window. The last sunlight snuck in through the blinds, giving Sharon a hero-like profile, and surrounding her shape with a halo of orange.

She crossed the space between them in five steps. Raising a finger to Jinkx’ cheek, Sharon wiped wetness from Jinkx’ face away. Jinkx blinked hard. She hadn’t realized she’d started crying. 

Sharon brought the tear close to her face. “Why?” she asked in a small voice.

Jinkx released some of the tension from her shoulders. She reached up to run her fingers over the edges of Sharon’s profile, see the halo on her own skin. She couldn't bring herself to look Sharon in the eye when she answered. “You are just… so beautiful.”

She felt Sharon smile more than she saw it. The girl reached up and wrapped her hands together behind Jinkx’ neck. Sharon leaned her face in slowly, and kissed Jinkx with the tenderness of a lover. Not a one night stand, not a needy girl… Jinkx’ lips parted. Sharon pulled back.

Jinkx could feel Sharon’s eyelashes tickle her cheek. “I know what I want,” she whispered. “But you’re allowed to say ‘no,’ too.”

Jinkx let out a breath she didn't realize she’d been holding. “I want it, too.”

Sharon smiled sweetly and wound her hands down Jinkx’ shoulders and arms to interweave their fingers. “Then what are we waiting for?”

Their kiss was gentle, soft. They were fully aware of the time they had together. Jinkx’ fingers leisurely trailed around the collar of Sharon’s button-down, outlining her collarbones and the softness of her shoulders. Sharon kneaded the gentle rolls on Jinkx’ sides. There was no hungry tugging or ripping off of clothing. If Jinkx had allowed it, that would have been how it had been last time. 

For a long while they were standing, until wordlessly the couple decided to perch on the side of the bed. Both had one hip on the mussed duvet, one foot on the floor. Sharon had one hand on Jinkx’ knee, taking her time to wind her way up Jinkx’ thigh, only to wind back down again. She smiled into Jinkx’ lips as she caressed her calf, pinched her Achilles’ Tendon. 

“Tease,” said Jinkx, which made Sharon giggle. As payback, the ginger ghosted her hand inches below the curve of Sharon’s left breast. She felt her partner curl reflexively into the touch, only for the hand to be redirected to her shoulder. Jinkx pulled the left side of Sharon’s top halfway down her arm before running out of slack. The blonde whipped the right side of the open button-down to her elbow before tugging the other sleeve all the way off. The right followed thereafter, and the rigid piece of workplace attire was cast into the air in the general direction of Jinkx’ laundry basket. Neither woman saw it float to the floor a few feet away. 

Unable to help herself, Jinkx dove into Sharon’s chest, pressing her lips down her sternum, cupping her breasts, rubbing her thumbs over Sharon’s pert pink nipples. Sharon’s head lolled back and she knotted her fingers into her own hair, afraid of the scratch-marks she would have left behind had she kept holding on to Jinkx by her waist. Jinkx went to kissing the undersides of Sharon’s breasts, running her hands up and down the blonde’s toned chest and abdomen. The feeling stretched across so much of her body that Sharon thought she might spark like an exposed wire. When Jinkx swallowed her whole nipple and breast down Sharon couldn’t contain the guttural moan that escaped her. 

She sat straighter in Jinkx’ arms and pressed her hands into the gingers’ shoulders. Jinkx pulled away from the girls chest to look at her, slightly afraid that she had gone too fast or somehow crossed a boundary. Sharon panted, “Hey, you’re the mommy.” She smiled, her eyes dark. “That’s supposed to be my thing.”

Jinkx blinked, her brain working to decipher what Sharon had said. When she determined that Sharon wasn’t upset, she laughed. “Right,” she chuckled. “You’re absolutely right, Baby.” She sat back far enough to find the tie on her silky robe. Fiddling with the tie for a few moments, Sharon stood up to grab at the sides of her pencil skirt. She managed to get the material over her hips at the same time Jinkx finally undid the knot. 

Sharon looked at Jinkx’ body beneath the robe with something between lust and awe. Jinkx flushed and averted her eyes. “I mean, it is what it is…” she half-apologised.

“No, no,” Sharon breathed, stepping out of her wrinkled skirt. She kneeled on the bed, sat on her feet to avoid her wet underwear touching the duvet -- she thought Mommy wouldn’t appreciate her getting the covers wet, at least the ones visitors might see. Reaching out with long fingers, Sharon swept the robe from Jinkx’ shoulders, widening her window of her body. Jinkx’ breathing was shaky, her muscles clenched. 

Sharon pressed her lips to Jinkx’ abdomen, feeling the warm skin beneath. She looked up at Jinkx with a smile. “You are the most beautiful Mommy a girl could ask for.”

Jinkx’ eyes watered and she swallowed hard. Sharon pouted a little, seeing her Mommy so emotional. She straightened her back and leaned up to reconnect their lips once more. This time Jinkx tasted of tears. 

After clothing removal so eager, they held each other for a while, supporting and being supported, comfortable in each others’ arms. 

Jinkx thought, as Sharon kissed the saltwater from beneath her eyes, that going in, it had been Sharon who really needed this. Jinkx realized now, she had a need too. And she was eternally grateful to her Baby for illuminating that.

They resituated, pulling up the covers and casting off throw pillows. The couple perched on top of the sheet, their bodies still naked -- all but for Sharon’s cotton panties -- in the air, but with the opportunity to burrow in blankets should a cold breeze blow the window open. Sharon crooked her fingers in the sides of her underwear, about to remove them, when a hand stopped her. 

Jinkx leaned against the headboard and pillows, her hand clamped gently over Sharon’s. She looked into nowhere as she spoke, her voice like a song broadcasted through speakers two rooms down: distant, and alluring. “Not yet, Baby, okay? Can you keep those on for me? Please?” She looked up. “Just for a little while longer.”

Sharon removed her hands from her sides and set them on either side of Jinkx’ head. She slid forward on the sheets and sat spread-eagle on Jinkx’ leg. Sharon watched Mommy’s eyes darken and her breath deepen at the feel of how ruined those panties were. “Of course, Mommy,” she breathed. Sharon dragged her hips back and forth on Jinkx’ leg, spreading the goodness around. “Anything for you.”

Sharon yet again reconnected their lips, this time deep and hungry. They had been playing around before, each waiting for the other to call it a night, pull out. But now, when it was clear neither wanted to stop, that neither wanted to wait any longer for this, the bed was going to suffer. 

Sharon cupped her hand on Jinkx’ sensitive inner thigh. She pulled away from Mommy’s lips to ask in a pained whimper, “Please… let me show you… how much I want you.”

Wordlessly, Jinkx nodded and leaned back against the headboard. 

Sharon tucked her lips into Jinkx’ neck while letting her fingers explore below. There was hair, which Sharon appreciated, and there was the place where She wanted her fingers to be. She came across some dampness and Jinkx hissed in a breath. “What’s wrong?”

“Just,” Jinkx reached for Sharon’s unoccupied hand. “Your, fingers are cold.” She let out a laugh/exhale. 

Sharon exhaled a laugh too. “Oh, sorry.” She tucked her hand back between Jinkx’ warm inner thighs. “Want to help me warm them up for you?”

Jinkx smiled and closed her legs, started rubbing them against Sharon’s cold hand as Sharon’s mouth tucked into Jinkx’ chest. She kissed up, down, and around Jinkx’ darkened nipples, ghosting her tongue around where Jinkx really wanted her mouth. Sharon switched to the other side, leaving her chest cold and wanting for the warmth of Sharon’s mouth. 

When Sharon drew her mouth away from Jinkx’ chest completely. Jinkx let out a whine. Sharon laughed in the back of her throat and squeezed Jinkx’ thigh. “Think they’re warm enough yet, Mommy?”

Whether from the tenor of Sharon’s voice or the promise of her hand on her heat, Jinkx’ legs spread wide open instinctively. Sharon’s whole hand gently introduced itself to Jinkx’ vulva, the base of her palm covering her hole and the tips of her fingers pressing into and around where Jinkx’ clitoris was hiding. Gently, Sharon squeezed the area, fluids spreading between the gaps in her fingers. 

Jinkx leaned against the top of the headboard, the crown of her head pressed into the wall. Sharon pulled away from Jinkx’ lips to look into her eyes, see how aroused she was. Sharon grinned. She clamped her fingers on either side of Jinkx’ labia and kneaded the ridged flesh. Jinkx let out a hum. 

Sharon kept working Jinkx with her hand as she brought her lips back up to Jinkx’ throat. She placed her lips on the divet in Mommy’s collarbone and sucked like she would a glass of wine. She felt Jinkx’ reaction pulse around her fingertips as she slotted the tip of her pinkie at her entrance. The finger established position, but did not enter yet. Jinkx’ legs spread wider, her face and neck pink as flower petals.

The blonde made her way back down Jinkx’ chest, tasting sweat on Jinkx’ skin. She again pulled Jinkx’ breast into her mouth and sucked. Finally, the ginger’s hands came away from her own head and neck to knot into the hair at the back of Sharon’s neck. Sharon felt a tug and Jinkx bucked into her hand. She’d poked her little finger inside now, and found herself smiling at how she even had to go slow with that. She wanted to ask, but thought it would ruin the mood… 

To shut up her wandering mind, Sharon pulled her finger out a little, then rubbed back in, and out and in again, feeling Jinkx clench around her every time she retracted. She smiled at how needy her Mommy was. A feeling of pride glowed inside Sharon at the thought of how happy she was making Mommy right now. 

Jinkx couldn’t talk, could barely make any sound. All she could do was rasp breaths and shift her hips around Sharon’s hand that continued to massage and tease her hiding clit. Her fingers locked in Sharon’s hair and she felt her peak on the horizon. Oh, how long had it been? Was she coming too quickly? Would Sharon be upset that she didn’t last longer? Even in this ecstasy she was not free from her worries.

Sharon’s mouth disconnected from her suction-cup-hold on Jinkx’ left tit. Jinkx whined slightly at the sudden cold. She didn’t have long to mourn the loss, as Sharon quickly pecked her way down Jinkx’ abdomen to rest on the top of Jinkx’ vulva. She fastened her lips around the area, and _sucked_.

Jinkx felt herself dilate, her pleasure as high as it would go without toppling over the edge. She was so wet and Sharon’s mouth was so warm and strong without being too strong and a longer finger fit inside her with the stretching she’d done before and Jinkx just felt so _full_ and--

Jinkx untangled her fingers from Sharon’s hair. She knew if she held on now she’d rip chunks out of Sharon’s scalp, because she was flying, coming so hard like she’d never done alone, never done before. All the almosts, the breaks, the looks that got cut off due to modesty in the workplace, the dancing around what she really wanted, all that edging hit her like five climaxes. She left her body, went to that place all the greats went to when they composed, the place she reached for as a teen with LSD that wasn’t even real half the time, the place she prodded at during meditation, the place she touched when listening to a particularly great new album. 

She didn’t even feel her body roll with the orgasm. She couldn't hear her own breathing. She was breath. There were tears rolling down her face and she was not embarrassed. The place she knew existed, had heard of, touched, been teased by, eluded her no more. Sharon Needles, coworker, jaded math teacher, had brought her there. 

Jinkx came around to the feeling of Sharon lying beside her, her blonde head digging back into the mattress, slender back arching as she worked herself with her hand. Feathery sadness fell over Jinkx, a kind of guilt that she hadn’t prioritized her Baby’s feelings over her own. But then, Sharon had insisted. 

Tired, Jinkx wasn’t sure she could manage the pace Sharon was making with herself, so she made do with wrapping her hand over Sharon’s wrist, adding her own fingers to Sharon’s wet heat. Sharon’s head turned to her, a chewed-up bleeding lip and heavy lidded eyes. Jinkx lazily leaned over to connect their lips once again. She brushed stray hairs from the other’s sweaty forehead, then brought her hand down to caress Sharon’s jaw. 

Sharon’s hips bucked feverishly. She let out a whine. Jinkx disconnected their lips and cradled the back of Sharon’s head gently. Blue eyes looked up at her, tears in their corners. Sharon bit her abused lip again. “Shhh, Baby,” whispered Jinkx. She craned her neck to kiss Sharon’s forehead. “Go ahead, come for Mommy.”

With a croak, Sharon’s whole body clenched. Their fingers against her clitoris remained pressed tightly into her skin. Jinkx petted Sharon’s messed hair whispering “That’s my girl. That’s my good girl.”

Sharon buried her face in Jinkx’ bare chest and wept. 

Jinkx would have been concerned by the amount of crying, but she imagined the sheer amount of shame and loneliness Sharon had been battling for these past months. In a way, Sharon was mourning that time, and her old self. What they had just done together meant there was no going back. 

Also, it meant Sharon’s past relationship really was over. Not ‘on a break’, or ‘on standby’ or ‘we’ll see’. Over. As she clutched at Jinkx’ soft, welcoming, warm body, she felt the hurt she hadn’t allowed herself to feel before. She hadn’t properly cried over Alaska. Yes, _Alaska_ , that was her _name_. And with that acknowledgment came a fresh well of sobs.

Most of this time Jinkx spent with her arms and legs draped around Sharon, trying to comfort her like a warm blanket, rocking her slightly so she wouldn’t upset herself too much. Now, she reached behind her to one of the bedside tables. Opening a drawer, Jinkx grabbed a packet of travel-sized tissues. There was so much water coming out of Sharon’s face, Jinkx’ skin couldn’t simply absorb it anymore.

Sharon let out a sad laugh. She opened the tissues and started dabbing at her wet face. “Ah, sorry about this.”

Jinkx shook her head. “Don’t be. You’re allowed to have emotions, Sharon.”

That sentence struck the math teacher at her core. Just being told she was allowed, given permission to feel… she realized she had never been told that before, so she thought she wasn’t allowed. And her face flooded yet again. 

“Awwe,” Jinkx couldn’t help but say when she watched Sharon start up the waterworks again. It was obviously something she had been needing for a long while, so Jinkx was perfectly at peace with pulling Sharon’s face into her neck, wrapping her arms back around the girl and pulling the covers up over them.


End file.
